it was november 2011 and my small circle of friends seemed to grow as the nights out seemed to be more and more frequent. The guy that had asked for my number months before was now a thing of the past. A topic better saved for another time.
This time my adventures had taken me to Long beach, a small two story bar, in pictures it look decent, dark and open to major possibilities. I was upset because my relationship with this one guy (Chris) had never progressed so I ended it. This time I was gonna have fun regardless of the hurt. I was there for my friend and no one else.
The music and the alcohol led me by the had to perhaps one of the most interesting nights of that year. The new Image i portrayed and the change in attitude and self respect were making me more plastic by the minute.
My friend Vic and I have an unspoken game in which we check out guys and debate who is hotter for who. It is something we do only for innocent fun. along with talking major crap about each other. So we see a group of guys coming into the bar and immediately our hungry eyes focused on them. “Comadre! I like the tall one for you!” said Vic. I laughed. Yes, the tall one as he mentioned was definitely quite the looker.
I guess at this point I should describe my type. I like hispanic men who have that urban kind of style. In the gay world are known as papis and thugs. But most importantly I like a guy that knows how to carry himself. posture, clothing, skin, teeth, hair and mannerisms are the first things my brain takes notice. Confidence is the sexiest thing a man can have.
This boy was tall. Taller than me and I’m 6 foot one. I walked across the small dance floor to the closest restroom and it was then when I felt a hand grabbing my shirt, and as i pulled away the same hand grabbed mine. it was the tall boy I had just been staring at a few minutes before. The need to pee was greater than my need for a boy so I left him there. When I came back to look for my friends this guy grabbed my hand once more and pulled me to dance with him.
That is how I met Roger the boy that would break my heart for the first time. We dated for a brief time. I have seen him a few times since then. I’m over him. And when I look at him I ask myself what the fuck was I thinking?
I bet all of us have taken a look at an ex and wonder the same thing. How could I have possibly like that person? right?
My thirst for attention led me to believe every lie he told. Every sweet word he said melted my heart a little more and made me soft. I was only 21 and had never been in love and for the very first time someone was giving me attention. Affection. Love? My infatuation was so big on this guy that I even left to Vegas with him. Not even knowing a thing or two about him. I simply got the little money I could get, packed my bags, kissed mom and left...
I didn’t realized what I had just gotten myself into until the second night out in Vegas where in the limo ride to the club Roger offered me a line of cocaine. I panicked. 250 miles away from home I realized the guy I came to like, came to care for and even loved for a second was a drug addict...
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