Lance Who?

Today as I listen to some Pulina Rubio and browse online for perhaps some inspiration to keep on writing this, the thoughts of the weekend came by.  I went out two nights in a row and both were more fun than I could possibly imagine.  On friday my friend Vic and I decided to hit the west side of town and have a few drinks.  Much like the heterosexual world the plastic gay world also has its levels and hierarchies.

It’s rather odd and funny to categorize the gay world because throughout our lives the gay community tries to escape the labels that follow us as we grow.  Every gay man can relate to being called a fag, homo, little girl, nancy boy and in my case, what I got for being hispanic, puto or maricon.  Society teaches us to label, you are pretty if you are tall and thin and you are a pig if you got a few pounds on you.  In the gay world a double standard applies simply because in general, gay men tend to criticize what ever we see because most of us still feel uncomfortable with who we are.

If you like to party and have a great time with friends West Hollywood is the place to be.  This side of town is as plastic as L.A. can get.  Like a small little town built out of doll houses where dozens of gay bars are next to each other and yet clearly define the different ramifications of this small community.  Seems as if going back to high school and walking into the cafeteria with your tray in hand and you stare in awe feeling both excited and lost.  You got your jocks, the preps, the geeks, the freshmen, the goths and the losers siting at their exclusive tables.  West Hollywood is just like that except that now you got your bears, twinks, papis, gaysians, fem-boys and power bottoms and the sugar daddies.  Only this time it is not high school but a rather glamorous version where all the gays battle for their title of top Queen Bitch.

I you like the young and trendy you got Rage.  Get them while they are fresh.  Get them before the hair does!  If you are latino and just feel like gathering with friends and have a good time drinking as you listen to the most upbeat gay theme songs then Fiesta cantina is the way to go.  Like its name its always a party in there.  The older, mostly caucasian, crowd gathers at Micky's and stare at the strangers passing by the side walk.  Forgot to mention that this is perhaps the most popular of all because of the different themes at different nights and the go-go boys are willing to give a little more than just a tease if you happen to have the right number of bills in hand.  But if you have the money, the looks and the desire for a small dance floor overpowered by loud speakers and delightful go-go dancers, walk down the street turn at the corner and find the Abbey.  If you are lucky a special famous guest might stop by for a drink or two. No joke.  (I saw Lance bass former N*Sync member and his boyfriend one time.)

At the different spots you can distinguish immediately who is there for fun and who is there to take somebody home.  Just like high school dress a bit different and either you fit in or will be stared at.  Depending on your attire and the way you dance that’s the kind of guys you will attract.  So how is it to be gay in Los Angeles?  I can tell you this... it is way harder than it seems.  It’s all about plastic.