As time passes I get a little less patient, more aggravated and mean when it comes to guys. It’s sad to say that all the decent men of LA are either taken or possibly straight. I have dated constantly in a search for something more meaningful and my stubborn sense of being tells me I’ll eventually find someone worth my time... I came across a line the other day “I’m single but you have to be fucking amazing to change that.” Sadly we tend to place our standards too high. In reality there is no prince charming, there is no perfect guy or no one that will ever entirely fulfill our every desire. The perfect man will never come. But there are some that come close and it is then that we take advantage of what we are given and work with their defects. We have our own and a decent person will find time to work with them when that day comes. “Oh I don’t think I can ever date a guy that doesn’t have a car, or I don’t think I can date someone taller or shorter...” These standards that we put to ourselves only speak so much of our shallow self esteem. They are a reflection of how biassed gay men can be.
The truth is that as I get older (oh god I hate it) I realize that the gay community is more damaged than any other. There isn’t a single guy out there who isn’t insecure, judgmental or simply dysfunctional when it comes to dating. I have tried to put my time, effort and money to get to know someone who in the end is going to take everything I do for granted. And I must admit I have been on the other side as well where guys take interest in me and are willing to cross seas just to get my attention and for one reason or another I find something wrong with them and say no. But think about it how often do you hear a guy say “hey lets go out...!” you get all excited get ready and re-arrange your time in order to make it on time... 15 minutes before he says “Oh Im sorry I fell asleep and now I don’t want to go.” How often have you heard “oh I really like you.” he texts you all the time and tells you how good you make him feel and then “I think we are better off as friends.” And my personal favorite... everything is going fine and dandy and they drop the bomb. “I don’t think I’m ready to date because I still have feelings for my ex.” I mean What The FUCK! then bro you shouldn’t be playing with peoples feelings.
Maybe it is just me and I tend to find the broken ones. I thought being 23 and single I was doomed to be alone for the rest of my life but as I meet more broken ken dolls I’m starting to think I rather be alone than in bad company. I rather be standing tall and strong rather than be put down by some trick. They say good things come to those who wait. Most of my friends are above 27 and are barely finding their other half and are lasting... Maybe not all is lost yet.
I am often told on how mean I can be... I guess no one really likes to hear the truth for what it is. I live in a world where lies are fed left and right. Where illusions are what gets you a one night stand. A world in which if you dare to be yourself you get chewed out in front of the crowd.
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